The first piece

Do you think that we realize when we are setting in place our first piece, our very first block of foundation that will determine what is to come next? 

I don’t think so, at least not at the moment. 

The other day I came across a photo from the beginning of the year 2011, when I was in the early stages of creating the restaurant Café de los Deseos. The picture is from when I was placing the first piece of ceramic for the mural at the entrance of the restaurant. I didn’t know how to do murals, so a friend that had experience on how to do them in this technique help me with the planning and first steps. It took me about two weeks to complete, way longer than I would originally thought, many hours, and lots of patience.

While I was doing this art, a man passing by the street took a moment to stop and tell me: You know, other people have already tried to have a restaurant here, but it has never worked, and it won’t work for you either. I have no idea why someone would randomly have the need to step on someone’s dreams and hopes. I felt really bad at the moment, felt anxious, and worried. What if he was right? What if no one came? Nevertheless, I continued with the mural and said nothing back to him, he kept going. To this day I have no idea who he is, nor do I want to know.

Looking back, I see this old version of mine, a version that had no idea the magnitude of what she was creating, the changes in her way of thinking, the way of thinking of others, the awareness, the success and also loss, the change of direction in life, of everything that was to come, all sort of experiences amazing, crazy, incredible, and also bad. 

If I would have told her all that was to happen, I'm pretty sure that she would it say: No way, I don’t want that, I'm not able to handle it. But life, being the way it is, gave me no warning. On the contrary, family, friends, and business associates supported the idea, and that is how that jump, that huge lip of faith to nothingness was made, with that feeling in the heart that said: Yessss!, This is what I have to do! 

Not doing it wasn’t an option, although I had no idea of what I was doing, or what it meant to run and own a restaurant. A very large amount of dedication, effortness (is that even a word), and trust in the knowing that things would go right. That moment, that part of my life was only a catapult to a series of events that still to this day are still unwrapping.  

I feel deeply proud of that old version of mine that was able to trust so much so blindly. I'm also proud of myself in this present moment, to see all that I went through and here I am, still standing, still trusting, still not knowing what is to come, and yet still with the excitement to jump again, even deeper and higher. I might still not know a lot, but I do have a lot more experience.

I trust in my creativity, I trust in my mind, my heart, and my creating soul that wants to build, that wants to make something different, that wants to rebel at this world, at this reality, because my soul knows that I am here to create, to dream and make those dreams a reality, to build my reality, my life from a new perspective that doesn’t want to link in into what the world tells me is the way life should be lived, to follow the road that is already paved. 

I believe in magic, I believe in my magic to create the life that is possible for me, it's a reality, I can see it, I can feel it. Peaceful, calm, happy, and relaxed. I feel peace in my heart because I know that it was all worth it, to follow the calling to do what is true in my heart, I came into this life to be a creator of my own reality, of my art, of my life and I am grateful for it. I live in my power, in my wealth, in the greatness that exists in my mind, in my hands, in my eyes, in every cell of my body. 

I am light, and I am projecting all of it to all of my versions, to all of the ones that didn’t believe in themselves, the ones that didn’t dare, the ones that did, the ones that cried, and the ones that laugh, the ones that had doubts and the ones that were sure. To all of them, I am thankful for shaping me, for giving me permission to be and create my own being and let that beautiful light that I am finally out, especially I am thankful for that version back then that took that first piece and placed it firmly into that beautiful blank wall.